when ur up too late and ur mom comes in ur room
some people wanna spread their wings and fly, i just wanna spread my legs and ride
not sure if this person is an avid motorcyclist or just extremely open about their sexuality
Looking for jobs when you don’t have a car and the bus is shit blah blah blah blaaaaaah
Homosexuality is unnatural! It says so in this book where snakes talk, people come back from the dead, a guy walks on water, and a virgin has a baby.
My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed
you need less jesus
I hit words at random on iOS 8’s new predictive text feature so I could see what type of sentence my phone thinks I’m likely to say, and
Fact: Unlike their pansexual counterparts, bisexuals can’t see into the future, however they can hear into the future. Supposedly, the next Arctic Monkeys album is pretty decent.
i went to look up coup de foudre (“love at first sight”) but i fucked up
i fucked up so much
i didn’t know it was possible to fuck it up this much