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theworldairforce:

Smiles on Deck!
me: im so bored
me: i have nothing to do
me: i wish i had something to do
basic responsibilities: yo
me: not u
me: anyway
me: im so bored
me: i have nothing to do

skypestripper:

when ur up too late and ur mom comes in ur roomimage

aceinnatailsuit:

lacigreen:

farfromthepacific:

cigarettesandwaffles:

Me if you use those fingers correctly.

omg I almost spit out the water I was drinking 

a million gallons of fun

I’m having a really hard time trying to figure out an appropriate interpretation of this billboard omfg
magicpawed:

ghost puns are the BOO diggety 

forfuckssykes:

j6:

some people wanna spread their wings and fly, i just wanna spread my legs and ride

not sure if this person is an avid motorcyclist or just extremely open about their sexuality

Looking for jobs when you don’t have a car and the bus is shit blah blah blah blaaaaaah

mom: who are you laughing with?
me: my laptop

original-plastic:

Homosexuality is unnatural! It says so in this book where snakes talk, people come back from the dead, a guy walks on water, and a virgin has a baby.

literallytrash:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

you need less jesus

raptorific:

I hit words at random on iOS 8’s new predictive text feature so I could see what type of sentence my phone thinks I’m likely to say, and

image

bifacts:

Fact: Unlike their pansexual counterparts, bisexuals can’t see into the future, however they can hear into the future. Supposedly, the next Arctic Monkeys album is pretty decent.

dylanobylan:

i went to look up coup de foudre (“love at first sight”) but i fucked up

image

i fucked up so much

i didn’t know it was possible to fuck it up this much